FEEDBACK TO THE ART CRIT OF SOUTHVIEW POST~May 17th, 2006:

"Pardon me, but I enjoy Tatouge. I am not very creative and leave the crafting to the missus. She just Tatouaged my den (and her scrapbooking room) with a lovely bird bath, flowers and a pretty vine with a butterfly. We receive many wonderful comments and are always asked, "Is that hand-painted?" In addition, I do like to see artistic-nipple-nudity when it's presented well, and I must say that Melissa is presented well. I think it's just splendid that young lady is trying to appreciate art and feels free enough to "express herself". I have felt frustrated many times during visits to art museums and wish I could just shout at the top of my lungs, "This is so darn peculiar!" If I wasn't sterile and we were doting on our children I would always enrich them with: "You stay curious little ones and keep looking at the world with fresh eyes and enthusiasm." Thank you."

ART CRIT OF NEW SOUTHVIEW POST~May 14th, 2006:

"Southview is back...interesting. So, I once again familiarized myself with the "old" issues of southview and looked them over with the provided link (2003 was it?). It brought back some memories (my worn copy of the first issue) and good laughs at their rather creative satire (new docent not sure what docent is; Natalie Faunce ink; Nude Siedell; Ass Jpeg, and so on), but this recent supplement posting has the artspreserve/southview ilk going after some easy laughs and sloppy satirical observations. I understand Ben Franklin had his "Fart Proudly" moments and even I, with individuals that totally talked me into it, have endured squirting shaving cream on mirrors and humping lawn ornaments at night while snapping photos, but it's soooo easy to do the naughty joke with Nebraska's own Melissa. True Art (with a big A) appreciation locking horns with a young lady's total lack of artistic interest is not funny to me, even if it does end with a breast flashing. The pseudo-lack-of-alignment with the nipple covering star was clever, but not enough to save this boring attempt at...something. The spooge button on virtual melissa shows more creativity. The drunk mountain lion gallery owner was a little better (I think we need to incinerate all bad photoshopping now, okay? or is this some sort of post-modern slant that refers to itself and knows it's bad? Hmmm). The bad poet information was, of course, my favorite. I have long studied McGonagal's work and appreciated the links provided. Now the HSN Tatouage spot from the pie said hi is nice. I like their work a lot and Tatouage could be seen as a bit of an artist worst nightmare. The love of scurrilous play, bawdy smiles, and rogue behavior with art is as old as humans have been expressing themselves. All in all, nice attempt at bringing back southview along the well worn trail of satire with an arts twist."

ArtsPreserve's Southview is back with a special short and sweet May supplement


Art Appreciation with Melissa.

"Okay, so I went to this art thing and it was kinda boring and lame...it was just so weird and stupid. I didn't get any of it. HEY, LOOK AT MY TITS!!!"

Mountain Lion Opens New Art Gallery Drunk.

"He's a bit of a dandy, really. All I heard that first Friday was him yelling, "You sonabitches neber even been to Pierre Ganaire in France, so fuck you! Greatest fucking restaurant evah. EVER." It started to get a little old, so we headed over to the other galleries. They had better food anyway. Then later that night, as we walked past his gallery to get to our car, everyone could hear him rambling on out front,"...so where the hell is Wolgamott, huh? Hey, buy some fucking art or get out of my fucking fine art gallery! Where's Tessa? Where's Wolgamott! Who is this guy? I don't care...he's too good for me, is that it Wolgamott? Not fine arty enough for ya!?...podcast my mountain lion ass...I'm a fucking mountain lion."

Bad poets. You be the judge. "Come, muse, let us sing of rats." ~James Grainger.
The fantasticall motion of Margaret Cavendish, Duchess of Newcastle. George Crabb. The famous William Topaz Mcgonagall. James McIntyre.